Healing is probably one of the most complicated things we go through in life. For years, people have been trying to crack the code in order to make healing easier and simpler. We wanted to share our two cents on healing and what we’ve come to learn about it from experience. We believe that it’s not only important to understand what healing is, but to also understand what healing isn’t. So, we decided to look into the common myths about healing.
Myth: Healing is linear.
They say that healing goes only upwards from day one and that if you mess up, it’s back to square one. Well, this is definitely not true. Getting over trauma is a complicated path, full of multiple layers and triggers. You will most probably discover new aspects of your trauma overtime or come across a trigger after years of not experiencing it. This may activate a trauma response and you may even feel the same pain you felt ages ago. But, this doesn’t mean you haven’t progressed because you’ll notice how differently you approach and view things now. It’s okay to relapse. Having one bad day doesn’t erase all your progress.
Myth: There’s a time limit to healing and then you move on.
Some suggest months, others suggest years. They try to make it seem like you must ‘fully’ get over something and forget about it during that time frame. First of all, we don’t all go through the same things, even if it may seem that way. For example: a breakup’s effect on someone will differ depending on who they’re trying to get over, how long they’ve been together, their personality as a whole etc. Second of all, even we as humans are different. It’s impossible for two people to have lived the exact same life. Sharing a certain trauma with someone doesn’t mean you’ll experience the same pain, ideas or responses. Every other factor about you can affect how you heal. So, it’s okay if it’s taking a while for you to heal from the breakup when your friend only took a few months. Keep working on yourself and observe your progress because you’re in your own lane.
Myth: Come back when you’re healed.
Healing is an ongoing process and it doesn’t mean you should pause your life for it. Actually, experiencing life can contribute to your healing. So, no. You don’t need to ‘heal first’ before you embark in a new relationship, or start a new chapter or chase your dreams. Besides, healing isn’t just about making our wounds disappear. It becomes part of our journey and who we are as a whole. Yes, it’s good to heal your wounds, but it’s also possible that they turn into other things. It may be lessons, memories or even help us develop what later becomes our favourite personality trait. You’ll never know what can come out of it.
A powerful quote that reminds us of this is “Time heals all wounds. And if it doesn’t, you name them something other than wounds and agree to let them stay.” by Emma Forrest. So, healing doesn’t mean erasing everything that happened. Don’t let anybody use that against you.
Myth: Healing looks like this…
Healing is a continuous journey full of dynamic shifts, sometimes up and sometimes down. It’s realising your progress from when you were there before. It’s feeling more powerful and confident that you’ll get out of a slump like you always have. Healing is something we wake up and do everyday. Healing is something we embody by just going through life, trying to figure it out.
We wanted to say that even if nobody can see your progress, we’re proud of you. You’ve come so far and the effort you put into healing is tremendous. Sending you love, joy and inner peace.